There was an ad for Partnership for a Drug-Free America that’s as relevant today as it was 30 years ago: How Do You Expect Your Kid to keep his/her nose clean when you don’t? The ad went on to say that it takes more than a lecture or sermon to keep them on the straight and narrow. It takes setting a good example. Otherwise, the monkey see, monkey do mindset kicks in. More often than not, we’ve adopted Mama June’s mindset: You do what I say, not what you tell me what to do. Many of us are graduates of the Alexa Bliss school of management: Get others to do the heavy lifting, the dirty work, and hog all the glory. Speaking of which, the so-called “constable” of Monday Night Raw ha decreed that everyone needs help to achieve their full potential. My issue with that is at what point in time do we have the right to ask for help? As far as “full potential” goes, if it means playing office politics goes, my answer is: Thank you, no.
Sorry that I haven’t blogged lately. It’s just that I have a lot on my as of late. Not the least of which is why people are being such jerks. There was an “Ask Amy” column in which “Sad Sister” got a can of whoop-@$$ fed to her because her sister doesn’t enjoy the same things that she does. I guess Sad Sister has never heard of originality. At some point in time, we’re all a bit quirky. Being the same as a certain person or lifestyle is cookie-cutter boring, to say the least. A professor friend of mine told me that you have to have equity before equality. Vicki Valentine was right in The Simpsons episode “Last Tap Dance in Springfield”: That people who are equal when they’re clearly not is some sort of ism. Whether it’s Communism or Fascism, it depends on how one views it.
There was a time not so long ago, about 11 years ago to be exact, that #45 actually did something right: He schooled Mr. McMahon on how to take care of his WWE audience. It all started on what was “Fan Appreciation Night”, in which he gave one lucky fan a cheesy photograph of himself while leaving everybody else out in the cold. Then he launched a soliloquy, or spiel if you will about giving from the heart, giving like you’ve never given before. Then as now, there aren’t many takers. A lot of people in the WWE Universe, myself included have had it up to our baby blues with the Billionaire BS. After 20 plus years, who can blame us? Anyway, #45 comes along and drops cash on the audience, so at least everybody got something. Several months later, McMahon gave the WWE Universe an opportunity to vote for “Raw’s Greatest Superstar”. There were plenty to choose from: The Undertaker, Mankind, The Rock and Stone Cold Steve Austin. Not surprisingly, Mr. McMahon chose himself. Which got a lot of WWE Superstars upset, and proceeded to beat the shinola out of him. A week later, McMahon was upset that all the WWE Superstars, Divas, the WWE Universe enjoyed his anguish, all the while denying that he was a monster. A certain WWE Superstar set him straight with the truth: “Vince: You’re going to Iraq. What did the Iraqi people do when Saddam Hussein was overthrown? They partied, they celebrated. Saddam Hussein was a self-serving control freak. Sound familiar? Saddam made himself ruler for life. You made yourself Raw’s Greatest Superstar. Dude, we don’t mean to hate on you.man, you don’t give us any choice. You don’t give a damn what they think, which is why they don’t give a damn about you.”
Happy Mother’s day to all! There’s an episode of The Simpsons that got my attention. Entitled Lisa the Iconoclast, the story is about Springfield’s 200th anniversary(1796, to be precise), and how one’s attempt to be “politically correct” damn near caused hard feelings among Lisa’s fellow Springfielders. The legend more or less went that Jedediah Springfield founded Springfield on the spot where he rode a buffalo like a bronco in a rodeo. “A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man” was what he said. Another legend, which was more or less closer to the mark was that he was Hans Sprungfeld, a murderous, bloodthirsty pirate who wandered around the country, sowing his wild oats as it were. Sprungfeld then came to Springfield not giving a rat’s ass about history, just as long as he stayed clear of whoever was after him, silver tongue and all. Evidently, Lisa soon realized that the myth of Jedediah Springfield has value too. My point is sometimes the truth hurts, and it’s also mean-spirited and wrong.
It took a month, but it looks like spring is finally, finally, FINALLY here! To celebrate, I opened my windows to air out my place. My personal feelings about this past are pretty much the same as everyone else in Greater Binghamton: Good riddance. Especially since yours truly slipped and fell on my butt on the sidewalk in that nasty nor’easter in March. That’s why I didn’t go to the St. Patrick’s Parade downtown. For me, it was a wise choice. While I was nursing a bruised tush, I felt a ginormous spasm which felt like a near pop. By all rights, I should’ve checked myself in the ER, but couldn’t. The reason why is because I was in the process of renewing my Medicaid. I’m OK now, but I’m still classified as a “Fall Risk”, because of my balance not being up to snuff. In the words of John Cleese from Monty Python’s Flying Circus: And now for something completely different. On a recent Dr. Phil, a guest by the name of Sexy Vegan apologized to Dr.Phil and the audience for making a jackass of himself. As of late, society, in general, has been on a “throw people out first, ask questions later” kick. AND it needs to stop, right here, right now. SpongeBob SquarePants was right: There’s room for all kinds of people, and they don’t all have to enjoy the same things. While I strongly disagree with your decision, I respect it. Long story short, in The Simpsons episode “The P.T.A., comes to or-diddly-order”, something that a lot of us need to remember: Agree to disagree.
Tomorrow starts the two day WWE Raw and SmackDown Live shakeup. I can’t help but wonder what would actually happen if “Rowdy” Ronda Rousey was drafted to the blue brand? Obviously the Billion Dollar Princess-a.k.a. Stephanie McMahon would Vesuvius all over the WWE Universe, have a major-league cow, and so on. Then again, she could be happy that Rousey 3:16 is out of her hair, so to speak. Maybe she should’ve had a confab with her dad, Vince McMahon. He probably would’ve have told her that he made a mistake underestimating Stone Cold Steve Austin’s grit and determination, as well as other WWE Superstars similar work ethics: The Rock, The Undertaker, D-Generation X, even Daniel Bryan. Judging from the egos of other past WWE authority figures, the Queen Bee will listen half-heartedly. Joe Pesci, who played Nicky Santoro in the movie Casino said it best: “It should’ve been perfect.Everything was in place. But in the end, we f–ed it all up.”
Finally, finally, FINALLY, MeTV has landed in Binghamton! And Yours truly could not be happier. MeTV’s got the good stuff. TV shows like M*A*S*H, The Untouchables, Hawaii Five-O(the original, not the remake), the list goes on and on. And here’s the best part: They’re shown as they’re supposed to be, with limited commercials and as if they’re on DVD form. Now that’s something to get excited about.